Darn Stalker Has My Heart
by sapphire.gd17
Summary: Hermione is waiting for a certain stalker to show up... and she is furious. AU/OC. Dramione oneshot.


Dear Diary,

I don't usually care for writing down my thoughts but today is different. I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind if I didn't tell somebody about this. But I can't tell my friends about it. They might freak- _or at least Ron will_ \- or worse, they might tease me mercilessly. Harry can do just that without even using words. His eyes are exceptionally easy to read.

You see, Draco might've finally worn me down. After months of stalking me, he suddenly disappeared from my life and I felt a bit out of whack since then. It's been three days! Normally he would've found an excuse to see me, even it's as ridiculous as watering my garden _(I don't have a garden, the backyard's pure cement!)_ or finding something he's lost _(he had wanted to know if he accidentally left his heart with me)._ I don't even know why I notice that he isn't around me somewhere, sloppily hiding in some corner, trying to figure out a way to talk to me without me hexing him.

Yesterday, I started getting an ear worm. Not the gross kind, mind you. It was in the form of the song 'Only One' by Yellowcard. I wondered why I can't get it out of my head. It was driving me crazy, playing in a loop, making it impossible to sleep. Sometime around midnight, I remembered him humming it lately during his visits. Then I started panicking because the lyrics are meant as a goodbye, not as a declaration of undying love. Was he saying goodbye?

Ugh. Why do I even care? Maybe it's for the best. I hate him anyway. I should be celebrating my freedom from creepy stalkers.

Rats. Did this page just blur and form into one gigantic ferret?! I must be hallucinating. I did get like one, two hours of sleep? Great. Now he's causing me sleep deprivation.

Why isn't he here yet? Every day since graduation he pestered me with his presence and now he's just quitting cold turkey without so much of an explanation? Bloody ex-Death Eaters. Can't trust those lot.

I didn't realize I was counting the seconds just now. I can't believe myself! I think I might have inadvertently got addicted to him. I guess, him just being there became a normal routine for me. Now I'm practically shaking from withdrawal symptoms… Stupid Malfoy. If he ever comes back I'll give him one hell of a speech, you know, after savoring his scent. _Ookay._ I must really be descending into madness. I would never hug him even in my dreams… Except I got those more often lately… Sometimes it got even more heated… Something is really wrong with me.

Should I just go to the Manor myself? I could tell him he dropped his entrails and I'm giving it back to him, you know, so he could live again… Then maybe he'd start stalking me again. But isn't that too weird? I never talk to him except to say ' _Get lost'_ or the more sophisticated words- ' _% &*! #%^^~*!_'. Is that what drove him away? I mean I could say nicer things like, uh, ' _What up homie?_ ' or ' _How's it hanging?_ '. _Hmmm_. Should I just shut up and jump him? Man, I don't know how to seduce a guy. _Wait_ … darn it! Why do I want to seduce him? Hermione, you moron, we hate him! You are one strong lady and we don't need a man to make us feel complete! We are the champion, my friend. Yup, Mione, we'll tell him to go suck it. If he likes it he shoulda put a ring on it. _Darn it!_ Pull yourself together, girl! We didn't even date once and I'm thinking about the sacred m-word… Oh, God. I'm talking to myself and writing it down, too!

Hermione Jean Malfoy. Hermione Jean Granger-Malfoy. Hermione Jean Malfoy _nee_ Granger. *hearts*

This is hopeless. I've totally lost my marbles. I'll just forget he ever existed. His loss.

Arrgh.

Alright… I'll wait another hour… But after that, he's dead to me!

Yours frustratingly, MadWitch.

I put my pen down and tucked my newly acquired diary inside my dresser. I'm still in a bad mood. Whoever said that writing your feelings down will make you feel a lot better is clearly lying her ass off just to sell blank sheets of freakin' paper.

I tossed and turned in my bed. It's nearing midnight again. Four days! He must be kidding me. Can he really go that long without seeing me? _Wow._ I just realized how arrogant I sound. The ferret must be rubbing off on me. He even got me to acquire one of his negative traits! Oh, he is gonna pay for that. For life, if I have a say in it. _And there we go again_. It's the crazy talking. Call the Suicide Squad. I must be possessed by some dark witchywoo.

Five days, twelve hours, six minutes and thirty seconds… still nothing.

Eight days, fourteen hours and six seconds… I'm ready for the world to end.

Twelve days, nine hours and sixteen seconds… I'm sharpening my stake…

Then I heard a loud pop.

Standing in front of my door is the blond, grey-eyed, beautiful _monster_ … with flowers and chocolates and teddy bears wrapped in a tangle of ribbons. He's alive! Three cheers to Merlin!

"Miss me?"

I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow. I don't know why I'm staying still and saying nothing.

"Er, I was, uh, I thought I dropped something important here and I was just coming by to check if you have it…" he stammered at my frosty silence. "Clearly this is a bad time, so I'll just…" he dropped the gifts on my coffee table and was turning away.

Oh,no… He's escaping again! Grab him 'Mione and choke him to death! Shave him bald! Brand him with a hot poker and spell your name on his chest!

"Wait!"

He stopped and slowly looked back at me, a knowing smile playing on his lips. _Hot, hot, HOT!_

"I-I, er… Ugh!" Well, when push comes to shove I'm a total crappy freak who can't do a damn thing.

"Yes?" his eyes were focused intensely on mine, as he stepped nearer and nearer…

I sucked in a breath. Why am I so nervous? My palms are clammy and my stupid ticker must be broken the way its beating ferociously. I took another deep breath, bracing myself for an epic confrontation.

"Hermione?" he asks again. He took another step towards me, so close that I could feel the heat radiating from his body.

 _Tell him to die!_

Instead, I said, "Don't you dare disappear on me again."

I looked in his eyes, letting him see how dead serious I am. I just realized that _I'm_ the one who lost my heart to him. Good lord, I'm choking on my own cheesiness!

His smile got wider. "I can't help it if I'm stuck trying to get you one of those Chewbacca creatures that you keep talking about so much. It took me days trying to search for a forest named Kashyyyk cause, apparently that's were Wookiees live, according to Harry, only to find out that they weren't even real!"

Oh. My. God. He spent days trying to find make-believe creatures from scifi movies for me? How freaking cute is that? And Harry's going down for making my Jedi Knight disappear for days…

I laughed with him. "I don't need no Chewbaccas. I just need my fix with me. Every single day. That's you, by the way. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said, while muttering _'finally'_ under his breath.

And before I forget I added, "Oh, and… die, you bedeviled bastard, die!"

His kiss shut me up effectively.


End file.
